Sunday Stretch

Okay, here's the deal. The Health Inspector is a hands-down, 2 thumbs up, destined to be redneck cult film you'll kick your own ass if you don't see it!! Went to see it today and it's a definite MUST HAVE DVD!!! I mean, if they gave Oscars for blue collar, this one would win an outhouse full!!! So, go out there and GIT-R-DONE!!

    Sleeping in is always a treat. It happens
too seldom and I rarely have the luxury of fully
enjoying such a pleasure. But today was one of those
special cases. It's like a pepper high, and it doesn't
come back to "bite you in the ass" a few hours later,
if you know what I'm talking about.

Okay, let's get right into it. Here are some oneliners I received in email a while back. They're worthy of inclusion for your reading pleasure.

Something About Girlfriends, Wives & Lovers

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

-Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

-Milton Berle

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said there was
water in the carbuerator. I asked her where the car was.
She replied, "It's in the lake."

-Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

-Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.

A man reported his credit card stolen but decided not
to report it because the theif was spending less than his
wife did.

Man is incomplete until he's married. Then he's finished!

Young son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in EVERY country, son.

Then there was the man who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married. Then it was too late!

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted.
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said
the same: "You can have mine."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was damn
near impossible.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who finds such
a man.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once.

As a fan of MadTV, one of the skits that Nicole Sullivan and Michael MacDonald do is entitled "Literally." The cartoon below is reason enough for parents to listen closely to what their kids are saying.

That's all for now. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.