Another Shameless Blonde Joke, Etc.

Dear Ms. Advice,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning. And when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job four years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is buy big cigars and cruise around and shoots the breeze with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and he even hints that I am a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed, Clueless

Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like one!

Ms. Advice

CODGER COMEDY

After retiring, I went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry but I seemed to have left my wallet at Home "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."