04/17

Monday April 17
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Cartoon-a-Day

LEFTY

REDNECK

Hope your Monday isn't too rough on you. I'm out fishin' for Maryland rockfish. I know, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. I'll have pictures as soon as I can get them blogged.

NO SEX SINCE 1955

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala
event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely  young, idealistic
ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the
Sergeant Major for conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem
to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just
serious by nature."

"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations
and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a
lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to
start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should
lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious
manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't
take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you
had sex?"

The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955."

She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill
out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no
sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private
room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his
bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much
since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his
matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

I LOVE THAT MILITARY TIME !!!!

One morning the husband returns after several
hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a
short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He
pulls up alongside the woman and says:
"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't
that obvious?").

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I
know you could start at any moment. I'll have to
take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual
assault," says the woman.  "But I haven't even
touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For
all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

Remember to keep it funny, hot & spicy!